Thank You for the Music

From a tender age I was exposed to great music. Having two older siblings, Dave, eleven years my senior, and Wendy, four and a half, I was schooled in all things New Wave and Post Modern. (Here is a picture of them last Thanksgiving. Wendy is tuning her electric violin.) I was an eight year old who loved The Cure, Morrissey, De Pech Mode, and David Bowie. Somehow certain pop stars made their way into my life as well. Michael Jackson was my first serious crush. I had more than one Madonna costume. Cindy Lauper was revered. The Bangles were really important as well. Music was always so important in our house. Most of us played an instrument or two. My sister played at least five, genius girl. And I loved to sing and dance all the time. My mom always joked that her kids put on full blown circus acts for any visitors. We really did feel, for whatever reason, that it was our obligation to thoroughly entertain anyone who graced our couch. Sometimes it was music. Sometimes it was a stand up act, off the cuff as only Ferrell children can. Sometimes I'm sure it was embarrassing for my parents. They'd often have to pull us off the stage (fireplace) with the proverbial cane. It was hard for us to stop our acts once we were on a roll.

Anyhow, I am just so in love with music. It puts me in touch with so many things I can't seem to access in any other way. In high school I fell in deeper love with Morrissey and The Smiths. I felt like he knew my soul. Tori Amos was a huge influence. I went to a lot of shows showcasing locals and famous bands. At the Drive In was a really great band at the time, El Paso locals who made the BIG TIME and then broke up to form two bands, Mars Volta and Sparta. I saw Mars on a Lalapalooza DVD. They really went far. My boyfriend, in high school, was the drummer in the band Anabella 55, which was a melodic blend of gentle ballads and gushy tragedies. I loved it.

In college my tastes morphed toward the more popular ska scene of the day. My college boyfriend was in a band called BOOT. He wrote most of the songs and lyrics. Very gifted young man. He played guitar, trumpet, bangos, and sang. It was a huge band with like nine musicians and he would switch what he was doing in just about every other song. It was very interesting. They were such heart throbs. Those were fun times.

Living in Chicago I got to see a few great shows. I saw an up and coming band, MGMT, open for Of Montreal. That was phenomenal. Now MGMT is huge. I also saw the Chicago Symphony twice and I learned how to play hand bells in church.

Once I got back to Austin I stayed away from the music scene for a little while. I was quite sequestered altogether really. Didn't do much of anything for a fair few months. Just incubate and recover from my divorce.

Ivy rescued me and I started to live again. She took me to VIP ACL and my soul was stirred. She took me to see the Decemberists and Ghostland Observatory. Changed my life. We started doing our own music. It was really fun. My senses were roused again. I could breathe. I knew who I was again.

Then I met a boy who would change me forever. I can't remember ever feeling so loved. He sang me John Denver songs. We sang in the car, by the campfire, on Sunday afternoons. It was glorious. I loved it. All of it. Every note. He played guitar. I sang. He sang sometimes, too. We danced. He really knew how. It was beautiful, even though I was shy about it because he was such a better dancer than me. He played piano. We performed for a wedding and got paid handsomely. We ate seafood to celebrate. We performed at church. We sang for family and friends. It was like a dream, the most beautiful, wonderful, perfect dream. Being with him always felt a little like cheating reality, like I was eating dessert first and giving the brussel sprouts to the dog. But like all good dreams, it didn't last. Silence fell on everything. I was left with a lot of silence after that. Overdose, actually. I sequestered myself. I wrote scores of poems, stories, and songs about that loss. I couldn't believe the pain. It wasn't just the intensity. It was the way it lasted and didn't seem to fade but rather, intensified over time. Somehow I got normal....ish.

In the midst of my heartache, Bobby came to the rescue for the third time in my life after a major break up. Bobby was there when me and my college boyfriend split and I moved to Austin. Strangely, the girl he was dating then and that ex-boyfriend of mine ended up getting married and having a family. Then, Bobby was there after my divorce. Bobby was with me again. I thank God for my Bobby. He is someone to count on, always. He invited me to his shows. Bobby plays bass and sings. Lovely. Suddenly I was at every Politics show. They're great. Then guitar player, Mikey, made an overture to collaborate with me. It went beautifully. We wrote two great songs together and recorded them. I love, love, love them.

Bobby introduced me to the Drums. I LOVE the DRUMS!!! They are an indie surfer band. They make the cutest sounds since kitten yawns. Seriously, cheerful stuff. Listening to them makes me feel young and spry and silly and crazy and fun. They played in Austin a few weeks ago. I was so sad to miss it. I went dancing instead.

Right now I am really into The Decemberists, The Shins, The French Kicks, Sinatra, THE DRUMS, Kristin Ferrell, Ivy Portwood, Mikey Rodriguez, Politics, Motel Aviv, and Wagner.

Music is the way my soul rests, grows, dances, and communicates. Sometimes I feel like it's the only thing I really understand....or the only thing that understands me. Sometimes it's the only thing I long for in a day. Sometimes it's the only thing I long for that I actually get to enjoy.

I'll end in the best way any musician knows how to end, with an ABBA quote:


Thank You For The Music Lyrics

Send "Thank You For The Music" RinI'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore

If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
'Cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I'm so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
And I've often wondered, how did it all start
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like a melody can
Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

Thank you for the music, for giving it to me.