Monday, March 15, 2010

What If?


My parents have been happily married for over forty years now. They met when they were 14. My mother, a wonder to behold, thought my dad was a little arrogant and annoying at first. He teased my mom a great deal, as he adored her at first sight and didn't know how to navigate the waters of elation he found himself in. Over the years, he grew on her. He himself was as cute as can be and was probably hard to resist. They got married right out of high school and then my dad went to Vietnam. My brother was born a year later in Hawaii. My dad lived on a naval ship for years. His letters to my mother make me cry; so full of longing, sincerity, and adoration.
I've received a lot of love letters myself over the years. I have been serenaded so many times. I've heard it all. I'm just not impressed anymore. I can't tell you how many times I've received poetry. But was any of it real? What was the aim? I find I don't care as much as I wish I could. I'm afraid something has died in me, something I can't retrieve or recover. I wish I could hide but one can never hide from one's self. I have to face it. What? Okay, here's what I'm wondering, is love kind of passe? Is it a thing of the past? Antiquated? Old fashioned? Obsolete, even? I just don't see it around. I see a lot of people who want what they want at whomsoever's expense and as quickly as possible. That I see in spades and barrels. But I don't see what I see in my parents in my world. Are these just different times?
I am disenchanted, to say the least. I've believed so many lies in my lifetime. When men look at me, I think they see something they'd like to play with. I can't tell you how sad I think that is. Commodities and people are different things, aren't they? What if real love is extinct?

2 comments:

tck4texas said...

I've never received a love letter, never, not in my 29 years. I've never been serenated, except by my dad, does that count? I've never had poetry written for me, not ever. I fall hard and fast in "like",stay there a LONG time,and so far always get my heart broken. I refuse to be hopeless, but rather a hopeFULL romantic. I have parents who adore each other still after 30 years. They give me hope. I saw a couple staring across the room & smiling, it was simple and gave me hope. Mostly I find hope in the fact that God is a constant God. He wants eternal families- families based on love, not based on good- luck-just-settle-for-something-it-will-all-work-out-in-the-end. If there is opposition in all things, and one end is fake love, then there has to be something better- love, alive and well!

Christy said...

Just like James and Lilly Potter!!! Did you ever realize that?!!????